Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
