you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
