I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
