Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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