There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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