I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
honey bunches of taint.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
