is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
