were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
