I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
