...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Ladies don't puke and tell
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize