and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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