I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize