i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize