i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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