Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize