what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
