You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
