Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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