I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
