Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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