Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
