Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
