you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
