When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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