Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
