A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he shaved USA in his pubs
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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