im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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