My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
