Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she told me i tasted like america
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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