He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
