I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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