The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
