So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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