Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
