is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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