I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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