Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
