I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
