The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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