All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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