my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Pooping to opera.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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