I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
either way he was missing a nipple.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
