I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So. Much. Porn.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
