dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
