the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
