yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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