? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
