I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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