I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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