How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
