a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
