so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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