Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
