At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
